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Alternate title: Fluttershy gets a papercut (for serious)

Angel Bunny flicked his eyes left and right, his brow furrowed and his jaw set in an angry pout. Something was wrong here, and he wasn't in the least bit happy about it.

He was hungry and Fluttershy was nowhere to be seen.

He hopped into the house, coming through the front door that had been left ajar. This was totally inconsiderate of her – he wanted cucumber salad and he wanted it now, damn it – and he wasn't going to forgive her easily. Lunch time should have been ten minutes ago.

The peeved rabbit stopped in his tracks as he entered the single downstairs room, his bad mood arrested by the sight that lay before him.

The entire building was crammed, from floor to ceiling, with hundreds upon hundreds of letters. Innumerable sealed envelopes, all neatly stacked on top of each other, almost completely filled the home's living space. There was barely room to get through to the staircase leading up to Fluttershy's bedroom, which appeared to hold dozens of parcels.

Angel hopped forward with a curious expression on his face, pondering why his master's home appeared to have become Ponyville's main sorting office. He leaned towards one of the many stacks of letters, sniffed it a couple of times, then reached out with his paw to touch it. There was a faint creak as the front door opened behind him.

"Angel, no!"

He turned his head at the sound of a softly-spoken cry of horror, only to see Fluttershy's hooves reaching down to swiftly pick him up.

A gust of wind blew through the entranceway - the yellow pegasus had left the door wide open in her haste.

The breeze rustled the precarious towers of rectangular paper, causing them to sway slightly.
Fluttershy saw it and immediately envisioned the worst. Whimpering, she held Angel close to her chest and turned her back on them, spreading her wings in an effort to protect her charge from the imminent collapse.

A moment passed. She held her breath.

Slowly, cautiously, she turned her head to look. The letters had not fallen. They were safe.

She put Angel down on the floor and carefully pushed the front door shut, thankful that disaster had been averted.

"Now Angel, you are not to touch any of these letters," she said in an almost-assertive tone of voice. "I'm looking after them for Derpy Hooves. She's fallen a little bit behind in delivering the mail and she needs to keep it stored somewhere."

The white-coated bunny crossed his arms and looked up at her disapprovingly.

Fluttershy cowered a little but tried to maintain her position of authority. "It'll only be for a short while, don't worry. You'll barely even notice they're here. Just, please don't mess them up. They've all been arranged alphabetically and it took her ever such a long time to stack them."

Angel frowned and stomped his foot on the floor. Her eyes widened as she realised what the time was.

"Oh no! Oh, I'm so sorry. You must be starving, you poor dear," she said, "Give me a moment. I'll knock something up after I've fed the other critters."

The bunny bared his teeth in outrage then raised a foot threateningly in the direction of the nearest stack of envelopes.

"Or, or maybe I'll get you something now," she said nervously. "Please be careful, Angel. The slightest nudge could send them everywhere."

There was a sudden, violent knocking at the door that reverberated through the house. The letter stacks shuddered perilously. Fluttershy squealed and assumed the duck-and-cover position.

A few seconds went by before she realised she was safe. Fearing that whoever was at the front door would grow impatient and knock again, she went to see who it was.

She was greeted by the sound of a party whistle and a colourful explosion of streamers, and the shock of it almost caused her to jump backwards.

Her heartbeat increased rapidly when she saw who it was. "Oh, Pinkie Pie. You startled me," she said, spreading her wings out to prevent the pink pony from seeing inside.

"Ooh, whatcha got in there?" Pinkie asked, craning her neck to look.

"Some letters for Derpy," Fluttershy said, a bead of sweat forming on her brow. "Please don't come inside. She was very clear that they have to stay stacked like that. They're arranged in a very particular order."

"Don't worry. You can count on me," she replied, then reached back to pick a piece of paper out of her saddlebags. "I'm only here to invite you to a party. Here!"

"Thank you – ouch!" The pegasus recoiled as she grabbed hold of the invitation, its sharp edge cutting her skin.

She tutted as a red droplet of blood formed on her hoof, while Pinkie Pie stared in horror, her mouth open wide.

"Oh bother. Clumsy me," she said, and then noticed her friend's expression. "Um, Pinkie? Are you okay?"

"Oh no. No, no, no!" the pink pony cried, before putting her hooves to her mouth and shouting in the direction of Ponyville. "Pony down! We've got a pony down! Somepony call a doctor NOW!"

"Wh, what?" Fluttershy said, perplexed. "There's no need to panic. It's only a papercut."

She yelped as Pinkie hugged her tightly to her chest. "That's right, old friend. Keep telling yourself that. Only a papercut. It's only a papercut. Oh, you're so brave, you're such a brave, brave girl."

Tears came to her eyes as she continued, finding it harder and harder to speak past the lump that had formed in her throat. "I'm so sorry. So sorry. This is all my fault. I'll, I'll try to save you. Do you have a first aid kit in the house?"

"Yes, it's in a cupboard at the back but – Pinkie, no!"

It was too late. Pinkie Pie let her go and dived into the house, piling into the stacks of letters and scattering them everywhere. She emerged without a scratch, holding a green box with a white cross emblazoned on the front.

She quickly opened it up and rummaged through its contents as Fluttershy gazed in horror at the carnage she had created. A concerned Angel hopped over to his master's side and tapped her on the leg, trying to shake her out of her stunned state.

"There's nothing here. Nothing I can use to help you. Why hasn't help arrived yet?" Pinkie cried.

It took Fluttershy a few attempts to start speaking again. "I'm sure a plaster would suffice," she said finally.

Her friend looked up at her, sniffled, and then burst into tears. Fluttershy was so bewildered that she was beginning to question herself. It was only a papercut, right?

Her train of thought was interrupted when somepony behind her coughed to get her attention. She turned to see a white-coated pony with a red cross for a cutiemark – Ponyville's top nurse, Redheart.

"What seems to be the problem?" she asked.

Fluttershy nervously raised up her hoof to reveal her wound, which by this point had already stopped bleeding.

Redheart took an inadvertent step back, holding a hoof to her mouth in shock. She shook her head slowly, speaking in a low, horrified whisper. "No. Oh no."

****

Angel sat on the end of Fluttershy's hospital bed, watching Redheart as she flicked through a small pile of medical notes.

His master was lying under the covers, the bedsheet pulled up to her mouth. Her mind was filled with questions that she felt too uncomfortable to ask, the main one being why everypony was making such a fuss over the most minor of injuries.

Angel sensed her unhappiness and decided to do something about it. He hopped over to Redheart and tapped her insistently on the leg.

The nurse looked down at him, cleared her throat and went to Fluttershy's side.

"It's bad news, I'm afraid," she said sadly. "In all my years as a nurse, I've never seen anything like this before. Given what little I know about your condition, I can only assume that it's fatal."

"What?" The yellow pegasus was agog. "B-but that's impossible. I mean, not that I'm questioning your judgement or anything, but I've had papercuts before and I was totally fine afterwards."

Redheart gazed at her in astonishment. "You've had this before and you didn't seek medical attention? If only you'd taken action sooner. I might have been able to save you."

"But I feel perfectly alright. Are you sure you're not mistaken?"

She tapped her chin with her hoof. "I suppose it's possible. To be honest, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing."

"Oh." Fluttershy wasn't quite sure how to respond to that. "W-well, if it's not too much trouble, could I seek a second opi…"

She was interrupted by a muted knocking at the door. Redheart went to answer, speaking to her patient over her shoulder. "That'll be your friends coming to say their final goodbyes. I've already given them the bad news."

She held up a hoof to halt Fluttershy's attempts to protest. "Don't worry. I've told them to come in only one at a time. We don't want them crowding you, especially in your condition."

She left the room and a tearful Rarity came rushing in. Fluttershy barely had time to squeak before her friend gripped her in a vice-like hug.

"Oh darling, I can't believe it! I'm absolutely in bits!" she cried, "It's simply not fair. You were so young. So beautiful. So much more life to live. Why did this have to happen? Why-hy-hy?"

She took a break from sobbing to readjust the shawl she was wearing. "Do you like my outfit, by the way? Many ponies think that purple doesn't go with black, but I think I make it work. It's just a work in progress, but don't worry. By the time the funeral comes around, I'll look absolutely fabulous."

She realised Angel was staring at her with contempt and gave an apologetic grin. "Oh, but enough about me. How are you holding up? Can I get you anything?"

Fluttershy opened her mouth to respond, but Rarity cut in before she could say a word. "Darling, there's something I have to tell you. I've been keeping it a secret for years but now… I feel I have to let it out and you've always been such a good listener."

The yellow-coated pony took a second to collect herself, then motioned for her friend to go on. Rarity's face crumpled and she burst into tears, burying her face in Fluttershy's shoulder.

"I'm a fraud!" she cried, "Everypony thinks I'm the greatest fashionista in Equestria, but the truth is I'm anything but! All I do is put gems on my designs to make them look flashy and the poor fools fall for it every time. They don't realise they're being cheated because nopony has good fashion sense apart from me!"

Fluttershy patted her friend on the back, her face a picture of perplexity. "Well," she said slowly, "Yes, your clothes are shiny and pretty, and maybe that's all there is to them. Maybe the only reason ponies wear them is because it's better than being naked. But at the end of the day, isn't that what fashion is all about?"

Rarity pulled back, stunned. She held a hoof over her mouth as she considered what had just been said, and then a happy smile formed on her lips.

"Yes," she said, "Yes, I suppose you're right. Thanks ever so much, darling. I'm glad we had this talk."

With that, she turned round and left the room. A highly confused Fluttershy looked at her bunny companion but he could only shrug in response.

The ward's door burst open and Rainbow Dash flew in, and again the yellow pegasus was instantly overcome by an unexpected hug attack.

"Fluttershy, you can't leave us like this," she cried, holding her tight. "You've gotta fight it, you've just gotta! I don't care what the doctors say, there has to be a cure!"

"Hello Rainbow." Her voice was little more than a strangled squeak. "I don't suppose you could loosen your grip, could you? Because you're… choking… me."

"Oh, sorry." Dash let her go. "You don't need to worry, old pal. I'm going to save you. The second I leave this room, I'm going to head out on a quest to find something, anything that can help you beat this. And if I needlessly put my life at risk along the way, so much the better."

"Th-there's really no need. I'm fine. Truly. Look, I'll prove it."

Fluttershy made a move to get out of bed but Dash stopped her, placing a hoof on her chest.

"Wow, you're tougher than I thought you were," she said, "But you need your bed rest. Believe me, I know how you feel. I hated being stuck in hospital and my condition wasn't anywhere near as serious as yours."

She frowned in determination. "Right, I'm off on my adventure. I'll save you or die trying."

"Wait!" cried Fluttershy, "You don't have to do this. Stay a while and you'll see that there's nothing wrong with me. We should, um, I want to talk some more. Doesn't that sound better than going on a dangerous mission?"

"Well…" Dash held a hoof to her chin, thinking it over. "There is something I'd like to talk about. Something I've been longing to confess to somepony."

Fluttershy glanced at Angel, who shook his head at her. If Rarity's confession was anything to go by, this was going to be something incredibly silly.

Dash looked down at the floor and crossed one foreleg over the other, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically self-conscious. "I mean, we don't have to talk about it if you want to. It might be awkward. You see, it's something of a sexual nature."

Fluttershy blushed, her eyes open wide. This didn't help her friend's discomfort.

"Ah, forget it. Time's a-wasting anyway. I reckon I might be able to find a cure in the Everfree Forest."

"No!" she cried out, making Dash jump. "No, it's fine. C-confess away!" She grinned nervously, wondering what she was letting herself in for.

"Okay." The rainbow-maned pegasus replied in a low voice, building up the courage she needed to reveal the truth.

She walked slowly, silently, up to her friend, who was beginning to tremble a bit. She paused a moment, staring at the door as if she expected somepony to burst in and catch them.

Satisfied they were alone, she leaned her head in until her mouth was mere inches away from Fluttershy's ear and then she whispered her revelation.

"I'm straight."

Her friend gasped, whipping her head back as if she had just suffered an electric shock. Rainbow Dash preferred stallions? She would never have thought it of her.

Although heterosexuality wasn't unheard of in Equestria, it was incredibly rare. Mr and Mrs Cake were the only such couple in Ponyville and there were still some ponies who talked about them behind their backs, saying it wasn't natural.

Homosexuality was very much the norm. No wonder Dash had been worried.

The normally boisterous pegasus had become withdrawn, concerned she had said too much. "You – you're cool with that, right?" she asked, "You're not heterophobic, are you?"

Fluttershy didn't hesitate. "No, of course not! I think it's wonderful that you felt confident enough to share this with me. Do you have a special somepony?"

She chuckled, relieved. "Yeah, I do. We've been meeting in secret but it's getting kinda serious, actually. In fact…" She paused, before realising her friend would be happy for her. "We've decided that we want to have a baby."

Fluttershy squeed so hard that it hurt her throat. "A baby? That's fantastic! You should tell Twilight, I'm sure she'd be happy to use her magic to…"

Dash held up a hoof. "Woah, there. I know that's the way ponies usually do it but, you know, straight couples have a different way of doing these things."

The other pony was confused. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"You know, the natural way. Conception. Pregnancy. And all that that entails."

Fluttershy's expression did not change save for her right eyebrow, which twitched once, violently. Her body froze rigid as a vivid, horrifying picture entered her mind and refused to leave.

"I'm so glad you're happy for me. You're such a good friend." Dash gave her another hug, causing her to give out an uncomfortable squeak. "I promise I'll save you. Just watch. I'll be back with a cure for that papercut in no time!"

She left, unaware of the mental trauma she had caused. Angel looked up at his master, who was clutching the bed covers so tightly that her hooves were turning pale, and wondered what the best course of action would be – try to snap her out of her stupor, or rush off to find a sick bucket.

Before he could come to a decision, Pinkie Pie walked in, her fluffy mane flattened out by her current state of sorrow.

The pink pony took a look at Fluttershy, peeked quickly through the entranceway and surreptitiously closed the door behind her.

Now they were alone, her mane suddenly poofed back into its natural state and she reverted back to her normal, smiling self.

"Fluttershy, I know you're feeling sad right now but I have something super-duper secret to tell you that's going to cheer you right up!" she said.

"Oh no." The yellow pegasus took a deep breath, unsure of how much more she could take. "Are you going to come out too?"

"What? No." She shook her head dismissively. "This is something really big. Like, blow your mind right out of your head big."

"Oh. That sounds nice," she said quietly. "But, if you don't mind, I think I'd rather just hide under the duvet."

Pinkie Pie stopped her before she could bury herself under the bed covers. "Don't be silly. Now like I said, I know you're feeling sad but you really don't need to be. Because – and you gotta trust me on this – you're not actually dying."

Fluttershy let out a squeal of happiness and grabbed hold of her friend. "Oh, thank you! Thank you! Finally, somepony who believes me! I knew I was going to be alright! I knew this wasn't fatal!"

"That's right," said Pinkie. "You're not dying. Because none of this is actually real."

Fluttershy's enthusiasm deflated like a pricked balloon. She gazed at her smiling friend, worried that things were about to reach a new level of crazy. "What?"

"You see, right now we're nothing more than characters in a story. And what's happening here is actually just part of a dream sequence within that story. The real you is back in Ponyville, all of us are. We're all having a kind of out-of-body experience right now."

What she had said raised all sorts of important questions that required answers, but Fluttershy was so confused that she could only repeat what she had said before. "What?"

Pinkie sighed. "Okay, it might be easier if I start from the beginning. So, in the real world the six of us go on quests to stop big meanies like Discord and Nightmare Moon, in between living our daily lives and doing normal stuff like going to the gala, creating dozens of imperfect clones of ourselves and baking cupcakes. Those are the things that really happened. That's, shall we say, canon. Got it?"

Her friend nodded dumbly.

"But we've earned a lot of fans on our adventures, and they enjoy writing stories about us, drawing pictures and making comics. All of that stuff isn't real. It's fanon."

She scratched the side of her face with her hoof. "Now this is the bit where it gets complicated."

Fluttershy whimpered. Pinkie continued regardless: "Our fans live in an entirely different dimension to ours and, as such, the work they create can temporarily alter our reality. Our minds are transported away into a bubble of discontinuity and we experience the stories they've written, then when they're over we return back to the real world without any memory of what happened."

"Wait. Wait. This is all too much," said Fluttershy. "What you're saying doesn't make any sense but… but you seem to believe in it. Are you trying to tell me there's a whole bunch of alien creatures out there who can write anything they want about us, anything at all, and then it comes true?"

Pinkie Pie nodded, smiling at the fact her friend was starting to understand.

The pegasus shivered, full of misgiving. "Th-that sounds absolutely horrifying."

Pinkie giggled. "Fluttershy, you don't even know the half of it."

Angel looked up at his master, tapped his head to indicate what he thought of the pink pony's mental state, then curled up at the foot of her bed with the full intention of ignoring the rest of their conversation.

Fluttershy frowned unhappily. "I don't see how any of this is supposed to cheer me up. It was a very interesting story, Pinkie, but it was too scary."

"Oh, it wasn't a story. It's all true, Fluttershy, all of it. I just wanted you to understand what was going on so you wouldn't be too sad about your current predicament. Don't worry, once this story is over you won't remember a thing I've said."

"But it can't be true. If we forget about everything that happens whenever we go into this fanon world of yours, how come you can remember it?"

The pink pony grinned. "Well, I'm not like other ponies. I have a special kinda extra sensory perception that allows me to see beyond our own reality, which becomes super strong whenever I go into a fanon world. That allows me to remember everything that's happened."

She became momentarily withdrawn. "Yes, every fanon version of me remembers everything that every other fanon version of me has done. No matter how horrible."

She shook her head and forced herself to brighten up. "But I can't allow myself to think about that other stuff too long, or I'd go completely insane! It's not like it matters anyway. The canon version of me doesn't remember that stuff, although she does have an inkling that something's out there. Our fans will stop writing stuff about us soon enough, and then… then I'll finally be able to get some peace."

Her mane began to droop again and Fluttershy decided it would be a good idea to humour her.

"So you're saying all the crazy stuff that happens to us isn't real? They're just a made-up memory?" she asked. "So, say, that time when we all pretended to be a super hero to make Rainbow Dash feel bad about herself. That was all just a silly story?"

Pinkie shook her head. "No, that actually happened." She smiled. "Don't worry, Fluttershy. I've learned to cope with it. It's not like I don't have the chance to get my own back, either. In the same way their stories affect us, our stories can affect them. I indulge in a bit of fan fiction myself from time to time, creating impossible characters just to mess with their reality. I recently created a teenage singer called Justin. Ha! Now that was a good one."

"Okay," she said uncertainly. "I… I'm very confused now."

Pinkie Pie pouted unhappily. "Oh well. I tried. Try not to feel too sad, Fluttershy. It's true what I said. This is all a dream within a story based upon the adventures of our true selves. It's not that complicated really. See you in the next discontinuity bubble – and remember, this is our secret."

She flattened her mane down, adopted a sad expression and walked out. The door was closed for barely a second when Twilight came marching in, holding a brown paper bag.

"Hello Fluttershy," she said, her voice quavering slightly from sorrow. "I brought some grapes. That's what friends are supposed to do when a friend is in hospital, isn't it? Bring grapes?"

Fluttershy took the bag gratefully and began eating the food within, the first she had had all day. She paused when she noticed a hungry Angel tapping his foot impatiently, and then reluctantly hooved over the bunch.

"Thank you Twilight, they were delicious. Well, the ones I got to eat, at least," she said. "I'm so glad to see you. You're a smart pony, you must have read medical books, right? You must know that papercuts aren't f-fatal, right?"

"In theory, no, but I've learned that things are always different in practice," Twilight replied. "More than anything, I've learned that you should always trust in authority. In this hospital, whatever Redheart says is right."

She closed her eyes briefly, trying to hold herself together. "I – I just can't believe it. I've only known you a few short years and now, now I'm going to lose you. Is there anything I can do for you? Anything at all?"

Fluttershy had a quick think. "T-to be honest, I could use a hug. Everypony who's come in so far has been telling their deepest, darkest secrets to me and I don't think I can take any more confessions."

"Secrets? Confessions?" said Twilight. "Is that the proper hospital etiquette? Because I have something I could share with you."

Angel looked up from his meal and shook his head vigorously at Fluttershy, who didn't need telling twice.

"Oh, no. No, it's perfectly alright. You don't have to share if you don't want to," she said. "A hug would be much nicer. Even a quick one. Please?"

"Aw, really?" Twilight scratched a front hoof along the ward floor, feeling downhearted. "It won't take long and I'm pretty sure it'd do me some good to get my feelings out in the open."

"W-well." Fluttershy swallowed hard, certain she was going to regret this. "Alright."

"Yay!" The unicorn clapped her hooves together happily. "Okay, so what it is: I keep having this strange dream. I'm practising my magic – just simple stuff really – and wouldn't you know it, I mess up the spell."

"Oh! I have those sorts of dreams all the time," said Fluttershy. "Not magic of course. Pegasus-type things. It's your basic anxiety dream, quite common. In my experience at least."

"But that's not the end of it. I cast another spell to try to undo what the last one did, and that one goes wrong as well. Nothing serious has happened by this point – I've maybe turned a table into a chair, or broken one of the lesser laws of physics – but then I continue trying to undo the damage. And things start to… escalate."

An uneasy feeling began to fill Fluttershy's stomach and she held the bed covers tightly, pulling them up to her chin.

"Okay, I think I get the picture," she said. "There's no need to go on, really."

Twilight continued regardless. "Naturally I'm quite annoyed by all this – I'm Princess Celestia's student, I should be able to fix this sort of thing easily. So I cast another spell, and another, but they keep messing up.

"Things are starting to get serious by this point. Miscast magic upon miscast magic, do you have any idea how difficult that is to untangle? I'm getting so frustrated – even the fail-safe spell isn't working – so I start casting at random, hoping something will work."

Twilight's eyes took on a wild, fevered quality. "The ponies around me are starting to panic, frightened by what's going on, and before you know it, one of them gets caught in the crossfire. The spell – it kills them. My freaky unicorn magic has taken another pony's life.

"But I can't stop casting spells. Try as I might, the magic keeps pouring out." Twilight grinned, her eyes glazing over. "And that's when I realise that I'm no longer in control of my magic. My magic is controlling me. And what's more – I like it."

Fluttershy was starting to hyperventilate and even Angel was slowly backing away from the overexcited unicorn.

"So I continue casting. More lives end. The buildings of Ponyville begin to crumble," Twilight said, telling the story with too much relish for a sane pony. "Word of my deeds begins to spread and the knights of Canterlot are summoned, as are the Wonderbolts. None of them are any match for my might. They all fall."

Twilight reared up on her hind legs and her voice took on an echoing, demonic quality. Fluttershy squeaked and, having nowhere to go, started pressing her body down upon the mattress, almost willing it so swallow her up.


"Then it's me against Celestia. The student against the master. But even the princess cannot defeat me and she dies, weeping for her kingdom. The streets of Equestria run red with blood and destruction spreads across the land. In the end there is no other life but me, me and my magic, both screaming our victory to a world that can no longer hear us. I am supreme. I am victorious. I am the alpha and the omega."

Twilight placed her front hooves back on the ground, breathing heavily. She took a moment to collect her senses then, with a sweetly innocent voice, asked the question: "What do you think it means?"

Fluttershy was unable to respond with anything more than high-pitched squeaks of fear, her body rigidly tense against the mattress while a shivering Angel tried to hide himself in her mane.

Twilight put a hoof to her mouth in shock. "Oh my gosh! Your condition's worsened! Don't worry, Fluttershy, I'll get help. Just stay with us, okay?"

She ran outside, calling for the nurse, leaving her friend too terrified to even move. Angel poked his head out between the fronds of her pink hair, breathing a sigh of relief when he saw the unstable purple pony had left.

Nurse Redheart walked in hastily, holding a thermometer in her hoof. She placed it in Fluttershy's open mouth and it promptly fell out again, her patient too distressed to think of closing her lips around it.

Redheart waved a hoof in front of the pegasus's dazed face, shook her head, then started writing in her notes. "Unresponsive to outside stimuli. All other treatments have failed."

She turned to Angel. "You. Bunny rabbit. I need to get in touch with her next of kin. Are her mother and father still alive? Does she have any brothers and sisters? Anypony in Ponyville that she's secretly related to?"

Before Angel could respond, Fluttershy snapped out of it and finally lost her temper. "I'm fine! I'm fine!" she cried. "You don't need to contact my next of kin because I'm not dying, because this is only a papercut and all you ponies are acting crazy! What is wrong with all of you?!"

Redheart sighed sadly. "Fluttershy, you really need to come to terms with what you're going through. You need to find peace before the inevitable. There are five stages of grief and you're still stuck firmly in stage one – denial."

The yellow-coated mare held her head in her hooves and let out a protracted squeal of frustration.

Redheart blinked in surprise, then her face lit up. "Fluttershy, are you feeling angry?"

The other pony gave her tormentor a look somewhere between astonishment and contempt. "Yes," she replied irritably.

The nurse gasped. "That is fantastic news! You've moved onto stage two at last! You're one step closer to finding closure."

"What?" she said. "But I – I don't need to… do I? None of this is making sense. Papercuts aren't fatal. Are they?" She sighed. "I don't even know any more."

"Excellent, you're really starting to make progress now," said Redheart. "You've just moved on to stage three – confusion."

"What? That's not the next step. Oh goodness. Are you sure you're really a nurse? I didn't see any medical certificates on my way in here." Fluttershy frowned. "You're a fraud. And you're mean."

The nurse nodded sagely. "Ah yes, here comes stage four. Bullying."

Her mouth dropped open in dismay. "Bullying? Oh no, I wasn't, was I? I didn't mean to. It's just, you keep telling me this papercut is going to kill me but I really am fine. There's nothing wrong with me."

Redheart smiled and patted her on the leg. "I'm proud of you, Fluttershy. You've reached the final stage. Denial. It's so good that you've been able to come to terms with your condition. Some ponies never do."

There was a knocking at the door and Applejack cautiously poked her head into the ward. Her expression brightened when she saw Fluttershy.

"Ah came as soon as ah heard. I'm so pleased that I got a chance ta see you," she said. "Oh, Fluttershy. This is terrible, just terrible."

Redheart went over to the farm pony and placed a comforting hoof on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry for you, Applejack, especially after what happened with Big Mac. How's your family holding up?"

"Um, just fine," she replied. "He only had a headache, after all."

The nurse looked back at Fluttershy, held a hoof to her mouth and whispered: "Stage one."

She turned back to Applejack. "I'll leave you two alone. Call me if you need anything."

As she left, the orange-coated earth pony walked over to the side of the bed and took one of Fluttershy's hooves in her own.

Her eyes were wet with tears and her lip was trembling. "Ah didn't get the full picture of what's goin' on, but from what Dash said it sounded pretty darn serious. If ya don't wanna talk about it then I understand, but Fluttershy, ah gotta ask – what happened to you?"

The cumulated stress of the day finally proved too much to bear. Fluttershy broke down into tears and plaintively wailed: "I got a papercut."

Applejack's eyes were burning with compassion, her mouth set firm in sorrow. She let out a shuddering breath, sharing in her friend's grief at the tragic fate that had befallen her.

And then she realised exactly what Fluttershy had just said.

"Wait a minute. Whut?"

"I got a papercut," her friend repeated, sniffling. "And everypony is treating it like it's a fatal disease but it's not, I know it's not, but nopony will believe me and I'm so confused and I just want to go home."

Applejack frowned, her sorrow slowly draining away to be replaced by anger. "That is the most ridiculous thing that ah have ever heard."

"I know. But nopony will listen to reason."

"Well consarn it, ah'll MAKE them listen to reason!" she cried. "Don't you worry none, I'm gonna sort this thing out once and for all. Ah'm gonna give that so-called nurse a piece'a mah mind for making my friend cry."

"Thank you," Fluttershy whispered as the farm pony headed out to find Redheart.

She lay back in her bed and wiped the tears from her eyes. Today had been a nightmare but it looked as if it was finally over. She exhaled contentedly and tried to get some rest.

Her peace was interrupted by the sound of somepony coming in, followed by Angel insistently tapping her side.

She looked up to see a grey-coated, blonde-maned mare staring at her, her expression locked in a scowl.

"Derpy? You came to visit me too?" she asked innocently.

"Have I come to visit you?" the pegasus repeated mockingly. "Of course. Of course that would be the first thing to come into your head. Maybe I've come to visit you."

Her voice rose in volume, her tone grew more vicious. "Or perhaps I've come to see you about what you've done to my letters. Yes, now I come to think about it, that might be the reason why I'm here."

Fluttershy squeaked and huddled back against her pillow, suddenly afraid of the normally placid mailmare.

"I came round to pick them up not half an hour ago and what did I find? They were scattered everywhere. I told you, didn't I? They were arranged in a specific order. Hours of sorting, that took me. Hours of work. Wasted. Wasted!" she shouted.

Angel stood up on the bed, trying to position himself between the two pegasi. It looked as though a very one-sided fight was about to break out here.

"Derpy, I'm sorry. Please, let me try to make it up to you." Fluttershy said.

The wall-eyed pony shook her head. "Too late. Too late. That mail had to be delivered by tomorrow morning for me to qualify for a bonus. Now there's no way I can make that deadline.

"Your actions have cost me 50 bits. For that, you must pay the ultimate price."

"What?" cried Fluttershy, now in a trembling heap at the head of the bed. "Derpy, you – you can't mean… Derpy, this isn't like you. Why are you behaving like this?"

"Enough!" Derpy cried, "Your time has come, mortal. Now gaze upon my true form!"

Before their eyes, almost imperceptibly at first, the grey-coated pegasus began to… change.

Once they realised what was happening to her, it was impossible to look away. It was horrible, unnatural, but they were so stunned by it that they couldn't do anything other than watch.

The transformation took place in silence, which made it even more unnerving. Such a drastic alteration in her being should surely have been accompanied by some kind of sound – a cracking, slimy sound – but there was none.

The entire process took mere seconds but it seemed to last for an eternity. Once it was over, she stood there, still a pony as before except for one, terrifying difference.

It was her eyes. Sweet Celestia, her eyes. They had completely underped.

Fluttershy screamed. Derpy rushed forward in a sudden motion. Angel tried to leap into her path but there was no stopping her.

The pegasus grabbed hold of his master and charged at the wall with such force that she knocked it down, causing an explosion of dust and rubble.

As soon as the air cleared, Angel looked out through the hole in a desperate attempt to locate the two pegasi.

There was no sign of them. They had gone. Derpy had taken Fluttershy to face her fate, whatever that might be.

The rabbit fell back on his haunches in shock. Redheart had been right. The papercut had killed her, in a way that nobody could possibly have expected. Fluttershy was gone.

Angel felt a surge of helpless sorrow. Was there any way he could have stopped this? Anything he could have done?

A horrible thought struck him. Perhaps this was his fault. If he hadn't been so demanding of Fluttershy, caused her to be in such a rush when she took that fateful invitation from Pinkie Pie, maybe she would have picked it up with more care. Perhaps that hard, unforgiving paper would not have sliced through her skin with such deadly precision. Perhaps it would not have cut her, in the same way that her loss cut at his heart.

If only he had been kinder to her, more forgiving of her. If only.

****

The room was dark and eerily silent. There was no timepiece nearby to check, but it was surely some early hour of the morning.

Angel opened his eyes blearily, his head pounding. It was painful to move much, so he remained as still as possible.

It had all been a dream. Part of him had known this all along – everything that had happened had had an unreal quality about it, nothing had seemed right – but it had felt true at the time.

He let out a pained groan. He had overindulged on the carrot-flavour vodka last night and he was suffering for it now.

It had all been a stupid dream. He was almost angry at himself for allowing his psyche to travel in such a bizarre direction, but at least it was over.

Now he was back in the real world with a dreadful hangover and there was one thing he wanted above all else.

He wanted a glass of water. Something that would help him sober up or at least flush the toxins from his body.

He forced himself up and semi-crawled over to his water bowl. Empty. Fluttershy had been slacking.

Standing upright on his hind legs, he found an empty glass and picked it up with his front paws.

Fluttershy was snoozing on the downstairs couch - no doubt she had gone there with the intention of keeping a watch on him after she had learned he'd been drinking. Such a spoilsport.

He hopped up onto the couch, wobbling slightly upon making touchdown, and raised his paw with the intention of shaking her awake.

But something caused him to hesitate. Seeing her there, sleeping so peacefully, reminded him of how he had felt at the end of the dream. How lost he would feel if he didn't have her to take care of him.

He no longer had the heart to rouse her at such an early hour. It didn't seem right.

Instead, he put the glass down, stumbled over to her and snuggled next to her mane. He'd harass her in the morning.
:iconfluttershycanhasplz: :iconsaysplz: You see? Angel does care about me after all.
:iconangelbunnyplz: *bitchslaps a Fluttershy*
:iconfluttershyisshyplz: :iconsaysplz: Ow...

I meant to write this like a year ago but then Spyra happened. All the memes this is ripping on are really old now, but hopefully you still got a chuckle or two out of my silly crackfic.

What do you think of season three so far? I'm liking a lot of the episodes, despite the fact I'm convinced they're going to be the last.
Did not like Bad Seed though. Granny Smith has finally been toppled from her position as worst pony. Take a bow, Babs - being bullied is no excuse for your behaviour.

So Fluttershy, what did you think of my fic?
:iconflutterthinkplz: :iconsaysplz: W-well... it kinda made me want to... it made me want to... [link]
© 2012 - 2024 angelofrombelow
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RealBACONATOR2's avatar
Derpy's true form......
MY GOD....